Mr Beastly's Day Off
by TaggertShare
Summary: There comes that day every Teen gets interested in the opposite sex. Care Bears and Cousins are no exception. Neither is Beastly. No Heart is expecting a visit. He does not want his young apprentice in the way. He gives Beastly a day off. Beastly sets off on a hike through the forest. There he meets several Care Bears and Care Cousins with strange results. The strangest is a Piggy.


As No Heart glared at Beastly his young apprentice got ready for a tirade. But today would be different. No Heart had a busy day planned. His fellow Wizard Horace the Hated would be arriving soon. No Heart had already sent Shreeky on her way to Mystical Magical High School. At least she was out of the way for the day. Now to get the bumbling Beastly out of the way. "Beastly" bellowed No Heart. "I don't need you underfoot. Why don't you pack a lunch and get out of here for the rest of the day."

Beastly looked incredulous. "You want me to take a day off?" "Yes!" hissed No Heart. "Now hurry up and get out of here!" Beastly high tailed it for his room. He found his tattered old knap sack. He quickly gathered up a small picnic blanket. He went to the Kitchen and opened the Ice Box. He took out deviled eggs and some other snacks and put them in the knapsack. He then threw in his Bag of Tricks. He just might get a chance to have fun doing mischief. He also took his dented canteen and snuck to the Wine Cellar. He filled the canteen with Bumble Berry Wine. He chuckled to himself "The Boss won't miss a little bit of Wine!"

Soon Beastly was on his way into The Forest of Feelings. In a few minutes he stumbled upon a nice path. He began to follow it. In a clearing just ahead Brave Heart Lion was napping. He was supposed to be keeping watch on Hugs and Tugs. They had soon played him out. He had lain down on some moss with the little Bears to get a rest. He had soon fallen asleep. The Cubs were looking at an ant hill. They were trying to catch some ants to put into Brave Heart's fur.

Tugs spotted Beastly and tapped Hug's shoulder. "Here comes that Mr. Beastly" said Tugs in a whisper. "Do you really think he is as bad as the grown ups say?" Hugs giggled. "No, he is funny". She loosened her diaper so it sagged and looked as if it might fall off. "Watch this." Beastly was startled as he heard a small voice behind him. He turned to see a small girl Cub in a sagging diaper standing there. "Hey, do you know how to change my diaper? Brave Heart is asleep and I don't want to wake him."

Beastly looked aghast. "But you are a girl" he stammered. "Well then" said Hugs. "Maybe you can change Tugs first. He is a boy just like you are. His diaper is only filled with pee. Mine has pee and poopy in it!" Beastly turned green in the snout. "Brave Heart! Help!" Brave Heart awoke to see Beastly trembling before him. He was holding the Cubs by the paws. Both Cubs were giggling. "I think these Cubs belong in your care" gasped Beastly.

"Alright, what is going on here" said Brave Heart. "They want me to change their diapers! I can't do that. I am a bad stranger." Beastly looked like a scared Cub himself as he said it. Brave Heart bent down near each Cub and sniffed. "Hey, you two smell clean." He quickly checked Hug's diaper. Then he pulled up and refastened her diaper. He turned to Beastly. "I think they are just trying to trick you. You are not a bad stranger, we all know who you are. Thank you for acting responsibly. You are a good boy Beastly."

"Ah, don't say that! If No Heart heard that he would zap me to the Moon!" Beastly suddenly took off down the path. "See, I told you he wasn't as bad as the grown ups say" said Hugs to Tugs. "Talk about being bad" said Brave Heart. "Wait 'til Grams hears of what you two did." Tugs laughed. "Wait 'til we tell Grams of how you fell asleep instead of watching us." Brave Heart sighed. "You two are impossible to deal with sometimes." He reached back and scratched his butt. "Why am I itching?" As he led the Cubs up the path they giggled.

Mean while Beastly had regained his composure. He soon spotted a Bear with a purplish tint to her fur. She was holding a basket in one paw and was scratching her belly with the other. Beastly recognized her as the one called Share Bear. "Hello Beastly" she replied in a pleasant tone. "I was going to pick some Bumble Berries. I think I picked up some Poison Ivy instead." She put her free paw behind her and scratched her butt. "I can't reach my back. Do you want to scratch my back and share my Poison Ivy?"

Beastly looked mortified. "No thanks! I have sensitive Hog Skin. I have to get out of here!" Share laughed as she watched him flee down the path. "Beastly is so fun to fool with. I really think we should trade Beastly for Brave Heart. It would be a good deal for us and a bad deal for No Heart." She suddenly reached down and scratched her knee. "Darn, I think I may have really come in contact with Poison Ivy. I will have to be sure to brush up against Brave Heart before I take a bath. Sharing can be so much fun!"

A short distance away the winded Beastly stopped running. "Hey" he said to himself. "I forgot about these. I should have used them on Brave Heart." Beastly looked into his bag of tricks. He whirled around as a twig snapped behind him. "Surprise" yelled another Bear with a purplish tint to her fur. Beastly's arms flew up in fright. His Bag of Tricks went flying through the air. The Bear giggled as she caught it.

She looked into the bag and reached for something. "Hey, that's mine" said Beastly. "Then you had better catch this" she said as she tossed an item from the bag at him. As Beastly grabbed the object in mid air there was a loud buzzing and then a snapping sound. "Ouch" yelled the surprised Beast. The Bear laughed. "I have a Joy Buzzer just like that back at home. If you want your bag back you have to know my name."

"You must be that Surprise Bear I have heard about. Shreeky warned me about how good you are sneaking up on People, Bears and Beasts. For some reason you look familiar. Are you Share's sister?" The Bear giggled and handed Beastly his Bag of Tricks. "You are right about my name and Share. She told me all about a half Boar half Beast named Beastly. I guess that Beast is you. By the way watch out, yesterday she shared her Fleas with me!" "Ah" yelled Beastly as he turned and ran down the path. Surprise smirked as she watched him hoof it down the path. "That Beastly is so much fun to surprise. Next time I will have to try and scare the pee out of him like I did to Brave Heart last Tuesday."

Beastly was starting to feel a little paranoid. "Care Bears are crazy" he muttered to himself. He re-adjusted the straps on his knapsack. He resumed walking. He came to a little meadow. A dark shadow suddenly blocked out the sun. Beastly looked up and ducked as an object dropped out of the sky. Beastly was knocked over as it hit him. The next thing he knew he was lying on his back with something on his chest.

The something was a Bear attached to a crumpled hang glider. The dazed Beastly realized it was Funshine. "Thanks for breaking my fall Beastly" the Bear said as he got off of Beastly. Beastly got back on his feet. His knapsack had fallen off when he was hit. "Let me help you with that" said Funshine as he held the knapsack up against Beastly's back. Just as he finished buckling the straps Funshine said "this is just like putting on a parachute. How about going parachuting with me?" "No way" stammered Beastly. "What if the parachute doesn't open?" Funshine laughed. "Don't worry, the ground will break your fall." Beastly's snout went pale. "No thanks, I have some living to do!" He took to running down the path. Funshine laughed again. "Beastly is the perfect target to land on. I hope he's around when I do parachute."

Beastly did not get far before he ran out of breath. His knees nearly buckled as he huffed and puffed. He stood shakily in the path. He did not know what to expect next. Then he heard "fore" yelled by someone in the distance. His keen ears picked up a soft whooshing sound. He was suddenly hit in the head with a Golf Ball. Even with his hard skull it still hurt. He stood there rubbing his head.

"Is that my Golf Ball?" said an approaching Bear. It was Champ. He had a driver in his right paw. "Gee, I really shanked that one! I hope your head didn't ruin my golf ball. I ruined a golf ball last week when I hit Brave Heart in the head." Beastly looked at Champ as he rubbed where he had been hit. "I guess I am not the numbskull Shreeky says I am. I am out of here!" Once again Beastly went running down the path. Champ looked at his Golf Ball. "Hey, Beastly's skull only left a dent half the size that Brave Heart's skull did!"

Beastly finally came to a halt four minutes later. He had a hard time catching his breath. He was beginning to think all Care Bears were crazy. He scanned the area around him to see if anyone was around. He needed to pee. He was almost afraid of what would happen the minute he did. Just as he finished peeing he heard paw steps behind him. He turned and spotted an elderly female Bear. It was Grams Bear. "Oh my, a lost little Piggy" she said as she walked up to Beastly. "Where is your diaper little Boar? You are as bad as Tugs for going around without a diaper."

"I am not a little Boar" wailed Beastly. "I haven't worn a diaper in years." Beastly felt like crying like a little Boar. Were all these Bears insane, or was he? He took off as fast as he could. "My, my" said Grams. "Beastly is so easy to mess with. He would actually make a cute little Boar. I bet he would be half the care Brave Heart was when he was little. I never saw a Cub that could go through diapers like he did! I think he could still use one. I just may throw one on him the next time he pees on the toilet seat." She scratched her head. "Or is it Funshine that pees on the toilet seat? Land sakes, maybe I should put them all back in diapers."

Beastly had soon put some distance between him and Grams. "I wonder if The Care Cousins are crazy too" thought Beastly as he warily resumed his trek. He soon spotted Playful Heart Monkey sitting by a tree. The Monkey plucked something out of his fur and held his paw out to Beastly. "Hi, I was just picking Lice out of my fur. They make a tasty snack. Do you want this one?"

Beastly retched. "Ugh, no way! I'm on a bug free diet!" This time Beastly staggered down the path. He was literally sick of meeting Care Bears and Care Cousins. Playful Heart looked at the cocklebur he had taken out of his fur. "That Beastly is so fun to monkey around with. If I did have Lice I would give them to Brave Heart. It would be great revenge for the time he gave me Fleas."

Beastly needed a rest. He stepped off the path to find some Moss to lie on. To his left he heard the sound of splashing. He crept up to a Water Hole. He could see fresh Piggy Hoof tracks but no Pig. He started daydreaming of the time he saw Treat Heart Pig without her sweater as she got ready to jump in a mud hole. He was suddenly hit from behind by what felt like a truck. He fell snout down into the mud. He felt some one lift the pack off his back. Then he felt two strong arms wrap around him as he was lifted out of the mud.

Beastly struggled in a near panic. With a bit of effort he was able to wiggle around. He found himself snout to snout with Treat Heart Pig. Her eyes had a look of fury. In a menacing tone she grunted "I am so hungry I could eat another Pig. Especially a tasty Boar like you!" The day's previous events had been too much for Beastly, he fainted in her arms. When Beastly came to he was lying on some Moss. "I am sorry I scared you" said Treat Heart as she bent down to closely look him over. I would never hurt anyone who is part Piggy. Besides you are a Boar. It would be much more fun to rub snouts with you."

Beastly was speechless at first. "I…I have had a weird day with strange acting Bears and Cousins" he stammered. "Are all of you insane?" Treat Heart laughed. "Today is Play a Joke Day. It is kind of like The Humans' April Fools Day. Every Bear and Cousin knows you are one of the easiest Beasts to fool with. It is one of the reasons I have always wanted to make out with you."

Before Beastly could move she rubbed her snout down his and locked lips with him. Beastly went wide eyed. Just as quickly she was off him and ran a short distance. "You know what Beastly? You really are fun to fool with. The next time I spot you spying on me while I am mud bathing I may just give you more than a Snout Rub." "I sure hope so" Beastly whispered to himself as she disappeared into the Forest.

Beastly found a stream and was about to wash the mud off of himself. "What am I doing" he said to himself. "This mud came from a fat, cute, girl Piggy. I think I'll leave it on to stay cool. Care Bears and Care Cousins may seem insane, but it is not every day a Care Piggy acts insane about me! Even if she was joking she still made my day!"

Beastly's tummy began to growl. He found a nice spot to sit near the path. He unpacked the picnic blanket and lunch that was in his knapsack. He set the canteen beside him as he sat and looked around. He was starting to get paranoid. He suddenly saw movement in a nearby bush. "Who or what is there" he nervously stammered out loud. A feminine voice came from the bush. "I smell food and a Boar, do you smell me?" Beastly nervously sniffed the air.

"I smell a girl's perfume and a hint of Piggy" he said loudly. Treat Heart Pig stepped out of the bush. "Your eyes and snout worked this time Beastly. I am sorry for the way I acted before. The fact you like to spy on me in my mud holes is actually a bit of a complement. Most of The Bears and Cousins think I am an ugly fat assed Pig. I know for a fact Brave Heart does.""I like your big Butt. Oops, that didn't come out right" said a blushing Beastly. Treat Heart giggled. "Can I sit and talk with you?"

As Beastly looked up from his sitting position Treat Heart bent down. His eyes were drawn to hers. The eyes that had blazed in fury before he passed out earlier now had a different look. "Wow, what pretty eyes she has" thought Beastly. To her he said "sure, if you can trust me. I am supposed to be a bad boy." Treat Heart giggled again as she sat down beside him. Beastly was shocked as she wiggled her hip up against his. He was as close as he had ever been to a female Pig. "Want some food" he said in a shaky voice. "Sure" said the ever hungry Pig as she grabbed a hoof full of Deviled Eggs. "I am thirsty too, what is in your canteen?"

A sly grin crossed Beastly's snout. "I snuck off with some of No Heart's wine. Do you want a sip?" He held out the canteen with his left hoof. "Why Beastly, are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" Treat Heart was thrilled to see Beastly blush. She was trying to remember all the ways Harmony had told her to tease boys and leave them flustered.

"No, I am a well behaved bad guy" said the befuddled Beastly. Treat Heart took a few sips of wine. "Beastly, what is sweeter? Me or the wine." "You are!" said Beastly. "Have a sip" said Treat Heart. Beastly took a big guzzle and handed it back to her. She took a few more sips. Treat Heart unbuttoned the top and bottom buttons of her sweater. Then she knelt and leaned closer to Beastly, she reached out with her hoof.

Treat Heart ran her fore hoof gently down his chest. Beastly's heart began to pound. He felt beads of sweat form on his snout. Slowly Treat Heart's hoof got lower and lower. She stopped just below his belly button. She gently rubbed his belly. "What a sweet Boar you are" she cooed in his ear. Treat Heart had only meant to mess with Beastly's mind. She thought about Harmony's warning about flirting with boys. "You have to know when to hold them and know when to run." Treat Heart had thought he would panic and run off. Instead he put his snout up to hers. He didn't mean to rub snouts with her, it just happened. A short distance away Grams Bear was getting ready to discipline Hugs and Tugs. "I aught to cuff you all with my paw" said Grams, "and that includes you too Brave Heart."

She was suddenly interrupted as some grunts and squeals came from behind a nearby bush. Hugs' eyes went wide. "Is that the sound of Piggys fighting" said the innocent Cub. Brave Heart's keen Feline Ears detected the sounds of kissing. He laughed and said "no, it sounds like two Pigs kissing and having fun." Grams slapped his butt. "Don't say another word. Let's get out of here before the Cubs hear too much. Land sakes, I never dreamed Treat Heart would be the first of the girls to find out what boys like!"

Brave Heart tried to sneak close to the bush. Grams grabbed him by the tail. She quickly lead him and the Cubs away. Brave Heart had got a quick glimpse through a gap in the bush's branches. "Wow" he thought. "I guess Treat Heart must be one hot Piggy. I never knew Beastly was such a Stud. And to think they all call me the bad one!"

A few hours later Hugs, Tugs, and Brave Heart sulked in their rooms. Grams and True Heart had dealt with them. Now Treat Heart sat and listened as Grams and True Heart explained the facts of 'the birds and the bees and boys'. Treat Heart tried hard to look serious. She had been given all the facts she wanted thanks to Beastly. She tried not to giggle as she thought to herself "now I know what the girls mean when they say 'that boy is a stud'."

"Well, look what the Moat Monster dragged in" said No Heart as Beastly walked in. It had been one of the few evenings he had been late for supper. Shreeky looked him over. "Gee whiz, you look like you were mud wrestling with a big Gorilla!" Beastly grinned from ear to ear. "I had a weird day today. First I found out Care Bears and Care Cousins are crazy!" "Well duh" said Shreeky. "There was mud involved and a little bit of wrestling" continued Beastly. "But she was no Gorilla! Just when I thought I would get a punch in the snout she rubbed snouts with me."

Shreeky looked like she would faint. "You got a kiss from a Girl!?" A squeal of delight came from Beastly. "I sure did! I got more than one. Fat bottomed girls who are Piggys are awesome! I just don't understand it. She acted like she was going to beat the crap out of me at first. Then she acted like I was the only boy left in this realm. I don't think I will ever understand Girls."

Shreeky thought the whole World had gone nuts as No Heart uncharacteristically laughed. "Beastly, take it from a guy who has lived many centuries. Whether you are a Man or a Male Beast you will never understand Females. Even a thousand years of study may not yield an answer. Women would have been the death of me long ago if I were not immortal."

Beastly sighed as his face took on a dreamy look. "Well, I guess I have a lot of future studying to do. I know of some mud holes that will be my future Cafeteria, Library and Biology Class. I sure hope a certain Piggy hauls me off to Study Hall a lot!"


End file.
